Fcuk That I would punch every bee in the face.

C/O Dane Cook and the hippy.

I went to Coyote Ugly on friday for my friend's birthday. Woah.
A little friendly advice for fellow females that are thinking about the experience of an "Ugly night":

1) Don't wear a skirt. Especially if you don't have cute equipment. Inevitably you will drink enough to dance on the bar. When you reach that point... no one will warn you about the whole I can see your baby-maker thing and it isn't gonna be pretty.

2) As cute as that white piece of clothing may look? Don't wear it. The pouring uglies have craptastic aim. You will get liqour all over your chest, and it will stain unless you are sportin' somthing dark.

3) Beware of roidial lesbians. I am lucky to have finely-tuned gaydar, but If you are not careful? That dude you are grinding on could have bigger breasts than you. Now, if thats not an issue for you? Rock on. If so... you might want to pay attention.

4) Don't fall off the bar. Nuff said.

5) Do wear a cute but not too expensive bra... just incase you feel the need to make a drunken donation.

6) If you need a date? The cops on guard at gallery place are all looking for girlfriends. good luck with that and tell them my friend and I said thanks for the directions.