Review of the past week.

When I was a child, no one ever said to me " Girl, you will come to a time in your life when you are tired. Tired of helping everyone else, counselling, teaching, and generally worrying for them. You, girl, are the kind of person that will not know when to say no. You, girl, will so want to help protect those you love, that you will take beatings for them, you will tell them the harsh truth, and you will even work to protect the country from harm. "

If God had given me a manual on day one of time in the womb, I would have studied that manual and asked, why can't you do all this? Why will I feel so compelled to help? Doesn't that seem like a waste of my minuscule abilities when you could do these things o much better?
I'm not sure if God would have answered womb-girl, but I think I would still give it a shot.

I suppose when I get old and reflect on my life's progression, I will be proud of the girl that still felt that she could change the world. That she could (at a ripe old age of 23) manage to prove that ageism, sexism, and every other social mores could be forgotten. That republicans and democrats can be friends. That 16yr old girls can learn something that isn't about boys or cars. That the shy little girl that was only recognized for reading hundreds of books in a 5Th grade summer, could work through life and move on to jobs where a large part of her worth is based on negotiating skills between "challenging executives".

I took my grandma and mother to the white house yesterday, I often wonder what she thinks of her life, but I've never had the gall to ask her. Does she regret fighting with my grandfather constantly? Was she okay with having to raise her younger siblings? How did she keep from crying all the time when her child died? Or when her son went off to Vietnam? As much as we didn't get along earlier in my life, we have both matured, and grown to a mutual tolerance and respect. So Sunday when I made sure she was protected, I didn't really mind. She is the reason I told the jerk-off guy that followed us along where he could go. I didn't mind that although I was sleep starved, thirsty, and walking blocks upon blocks to something I didn't care about, I was happy to carry her. To wrap my arm under hers and hold her up so she could keep up, to walk 8 blocks out of my way to get her water, and to maintain a smile all the while. It was her birthday wish, and I owe her. If it hadn't been for her toughness, I never would have been born.