Update, rant, and future

First, I've lost 25lbs. Way to go me. Brez has lost more, and looks fantastic. Actually both of us look pretty damn good. Yea for that.

I went to Virgin Fest, it was fan-f-ing-tastic. Even in the sweltering heat and the continuous downpour, I had a blast. It did however serve as a tool of confirmation of my aged status. I am a 40yr old. I happily sat on a blanket in the back and grooved, then for a few of the more benign shows I migrated to the front and half-danced.

Funnily enough I still enjoyed myself, regardless of the fact that in the past I would have been moshing with the best of them. Now, I can't afford to get hurt, don't want to deal with illegal substances floating about if I can avoid them, and just generally am there for the music and nothing else. Sad, but true. The asian doesn't feel old, she maintains that I had to make a drastic leap from punky-college kid to responsible suit-wearing-serious-job worker, thus causing me to mourn the demise of lost punk. She is totally right. I wish I could go back to responsibility free living, I had no idea what awesome opportunity to screw up I was presented with! Damn. Damn. Damn.

Damn that lost opportunity to be a crack-head. Damn the possibility to be a pro-athlete, a cop, a pilot, or even a weather girl. Shot. All those childish hopes and dreams that one day I could grow up to be so many things. I think in the end I knew I would turn out like this, mourning my former-self and reveling in the crazy/cool things I did actually do. Mistakes were common, and people were fleeting. It happens. I suppose I'll move on, and try to be the most successful adult I can be.

I'm still in negotiations with my future employer, they are bitches, and I'm contemplating walking from the offer. I have waited this long for something mildly workable, and now I'm just nearing fury and resentment at the BS that has been this process. I wonder now, if I can commit to years of employment with people that are possibly retarded, and at least severely lacking in foresight. Then upon continued reflection, I remember that:

"Those who are going to be in business tomorrow are those who understand that the future, as always, belongs to the brave."
William Bernbach

In theory, if I am brave enough to deal with the excessive amounts of crap now... I'll win out in the future. That's the theory anyway.